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What is the best age gap between children?

Wednesday 25 February 2015

Ah the age old question! What's the best age gap to have? Someone asked me this at play group the other day and we ended up having a big long discussion about it, only to come to the conclusion that there is no right answer. 

Obviously everyone will have a different opinion on what is a good age gap to have and it will depend on each family and their own circumstance. For me, I've always thought around 2 and a half years was the best age gap to have. Not so little between them that as a mother your brain might become totally fried and also not so much space that they'll constantly be in different stages of their lives growing up and therefore might not be as close.

I'm the oldest sibling in my family and my mum literally had her kids one after the other. I was born in 1990, my brother in 1991 and my other brother in 1992. My mum always says it was the hardest time of her life having three little ones all needing and demanding the same type of attention but that it was so rewarding to see how close we were growing up (and still are now) 
During our childhood me and my brothers used to spend all our time together making up stupid games and as we all went to school at the same time we were able to look out for each other through that period of our lives. That's not to say that there wasn't arguments, jealousy, even a few physical fights, especially during our teen years (!) but for the most part we were blessed to get on so well. Even now we dont go longer than a few days without seeing eachother and having a catch up, I can confide in them about anything and they are both brilliant uncles to Lily. 

With that being said, the lady I spoke to at play group had a whopping eleven years between her children and she confidently told me that having a large age gap was the best decision she ever made. She mentioned how much she struggled when having her first and how she waited until she was in a stronger more loving environment before choosing to have a second. She also says the dynamic of her eldest being at high school really works for them as she gets space around the house during the day to look after her baby and that when her eldest is back from school he's very willing to help out..whether it be cook the tea, do the dishes or just entertain the baby so mum can have a break. 

So it really does depend on the person and what works best for you as a family unit..I guess there's no 'perfect' age gap as each age gap has it pro's and con's. Like I said, I always thought around 2 and a half years would be the right age gap for my little family but as Lily is coming up to 2 and a half years now that wont be happening as I'm not pregnant! Now I'm sort of thinking it will be good for Lily to be settled in nursery (she gets her 15 free hours when she's 3) before #2 comes along. Who knows..we'll have to see!

What is your ideal age gap?

3 comments :

  1. I totally agree there will also be pros and cons to any age gap! My mums got all different gaps (my eldest sister is 27 and my youngest sister is 8) and always says she found the closer gaps easier to manage - but then she had us older lot to help! Xx

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  2. Thats true! I think its nice for older siblings to be able to get involved with their younger ones! x

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  3. We have 2 years and 3 months between ours and it has been hard. Every gap has its pros and cons. Was talking to someone the other day with a 5 year gap and she said it was hard getting back into baby mode and then someone else I know had 17 months between and it was hard for the beginning but now they are all potty trained etc. Going from 1 to 2 is hard at any point I reckon you just have to jump in! x

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