Truth time here. Having two children is way harder than I thought it would be. I've been thinking about it a lot recently and I've come to the conclusion that the things I thought I'd find hard about having more children are not actually the things I've found to be hard at all. Does that make any sense?
During Archers pregnancy the main two things I would worry over was a repeat of colic and how I would deal with sleep deprivation with two on my hands. But actually neither has turned out to be as bad as I thought. It's all been suprisingly manageable. I think not having that first time panic this time round means I don't question every decision to do with Archer in the way I did during Lily's baby days. Nor do I get that overwhelmed feeling I used to get every time Lily was hurt, miserable or poorly. Granted Archer's colic turned out to be nowhere near as horrific as Lily's, like, not even on the same scale so that definitely helped but I also think it's just been a natural progression of having more confidence in what I'm doing as a parent. I've made no secret of the fact that Archers sleep is abismal, the complete opposite to Lily, my little sleeping angel who slept through the night from 9 weeks but even sleep deprevation doesn't effect me in the way I was worried it was. Am I tired? Hell yeah. Of course I am, I've not slept in 10 months, I'm freaking exhausted! But I tend not to dwell, I just get on with it and for the most part it doesn't really bother me.
Anywho I'm rambling and I'll get to the point of this post before I head off on a tangent about baby sleep. The thing I've actually found the toughest about having two children, the thing I hadn't really even thought about during my second pregnancy is knowing who to go to first when both of them want my attention. A question I seem to constantly ask myself - which child needs me more?
